Wow. It took being 3 years into this real estate gig to have the right answer to The Question in Atlanta: “What Do You Do For A Living?”. Think about The Question for a moment, and, let’s be honest here. It’s Atlanta, and the way many Atlantans get to know people, and the way we Atlantans tend to measure people, is indeed within the first TWO minutes of meeting, by getting the response to The Question: “what do you do?”…
In the pre-real estate days my answer was SOLID: (insert fluttering eye lashes here)… “Well, I’m on the core management team, and acting co-strategist for a successful internet company founded by entrepreneur and 40 times over mr. dot-com millionaire guy….. and by the way, I moved to Atlanta to obtain my MBA, did the big 5 consulting gig, yada, yada, blah, blah, blah. This all translated very well into: I’m obviously a Very Important Completely Together Smart Chick that can pay my way and yours!).
All in all, it was a fairly good response to The Question.
But GASP! I gave that up. I left Very Important Laura behind; I chose instead Very Happy. I chose ruling my days over knowing my income. I chose smiling on Sunday nights over that horrible dread on the cusp of Monday mornings… But, with all that goodness also came a new answer to The Question: “What Do You Do For A Living?” and this is where the problems began…
My new answer was: I’m a real estate agent. No more, I’m Very Important. No more Smart Girl Credentials. I instead shrank into my new response: I’m a real estate agent, laced with false confidence and unsurity…
Accordingly, many times in response to my real estate agent response, I received a less than intrigued ‘oh’. Although once I did get an enthusiastic “Really, that’s so ironic!… you know my sister, the one that sleeps on my couch and is always stumbling in life, she’s a real estate agent!” . Luckily, at this point, a friend of mine would generally toss me what felt like a life jacket, responding with something akin to “Hell yes she’s an agent, one of the smartest darn one in the bunch. Has her MBA and ALL!! “
So, alas, Dear Reader, Do you see my mistake here…? How could I have denied my new found nobleness?
It’s very simple. My new found happiness in real estate and sense of self came with a nagging sense of guilt for leaving my dear pal Security, mixed in with a dash of shame, and a large can of irresponsibility for ditching my ‘I-spent-a lot-of-money-and-education-to-get-here” style job.
I denied myself and full feeling of being proud. I inherently denied myself the full sense of happiness from my decision by allowing shame and guilt to stick around even after I made the decision. Shame, eh? Here’s a thought, what if I could have just Allowed myself to trust myself.... what if I would have fully ditched any attachment to perceptions from the outside? AND, what if I would have simply embraced my decision to be in real estate fully, as opposed to keeping one foot in the guilt door? Possibly I would have relished in my first couple of years of real estate more… possibly I would have therefore been more successful than I was…?
My challenge to you: Be nice to yourself, always. Trust your decisions, you’ve earned that. Question all negative thoughts. Whether you like it or not: You’re an adult and you get to chose how good you feel in this moment! You chose how deeply you enjoy life at all times. You get to be accountable for your sense of happiness, including those coming from really fabulous decisions you make!!
To quote Marianne Williamson:
We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous?
Actually, who are you not to be…?
>>
My best, Laura
p.s. My answer to The Question now? I’m real estate agent (insert large smile here).